🎧 Heads and Volleys, Episode 101: https://pod.fo/e/75bf95
More and more, my coaching analogies come from watching my own kids grow into young athletes. This one is about horses and Lego.
If you have kids, or nieces and nephews, you’ll recognise it straight away.
Core toys and collateral toys
Kids have favourites. Core toys they always come back to.
Then there’s what I’d call the collateral. In my house that’s Lego, magnet tiles, blocks and logs. They get played with along the way.
The core in my house is horses. Every shape, every size, every style. Played with constantly.
And the collateral gets brought in to support the main show. We build a stable out of magnet tiles. But the horses are still the star.
So here’s the question for you as a coach:
Do you know whether soccer is your player’s core, or their collateral?
Do they play baseball and dabble in soccer, like a magnet tile? Or is soccer the main thing and baseball the side show?
In young players it looks identical. But you can start to see it, and it’s really helpful to know.
Why it matters: the acquisition window
I’ve talked before about the acquisition window. Up to around 12 or 13, our job isn’t to teach so much as to make sure skills get acquired through volume. Touches. Repetitions. Play. Low-stakes failure.
Your horse kids generate that volume on their own. They turn up rain or shine. They play with siblings and cousins, on the driveway, at the park, at school. Any chance they get.
Your Lego kids mostly get it at your session. I think of them as part-time soccer players.
That’s the coaching difference. Horse kids find the reps. Lego kids need you to build the reps in for them.
It isn’t just the little ones
This came from a conversation with a coach who described his team as players who really want to play, and players who don’t really care and bring the group down.
I first thought about it with the youngest players. But it’s true at every level. Even at ECNL, I’ve had die-hard soccer players who would do anything for the game, alongside players who show up because they like it and they’re pretty good.
The Lego kids: find the hook
A collateral player isn’t a low-ability player. It doesn’t mean a low ceiling. It just means soccer hasn’t become their identity yet. It hasn’t clicked.
So find the hook. It isn’t always the game:
A friend. A cousin or best mate on the team they get to partner with. That’s belonging, and belonging is a big motivator.
Something to take home. A goal celebration. A trick to practise.
A favourite position.
The social side. For the youngest, sometimes it’s just the snacks afterwards.
Why do they like being there? Can you build more of that in?
And are the first 10 minutes a win? Lots of playing, straight away. These players need to be engaged the moment they arrive. Maybe mum makes them come. Maybe dad played in college. Either way, they’re there, so teach them the fun of playing.
Then give them the ball and give them decisions to learn from. Fun, engagement and the challenge of real soccer.
They may still tap out at 12. That’s okay. If they had a great time, they’ll come back. As a parent signing up their own kid. Playing pick-up after college or after work. Because they remember what it felt like.
The horse kids: don’t lay it on thick
Then there’s the flip side. Your core players. The ones we hold tryouts for.
We want to challenge them and push them. But it’s just as important not to overdo it. Nurture that love. Don’t rush to cash in on it.
Pile on structure and expectation and the fun becomes homework.
Back to the toys. If you hover over your child, questioning everything they do with their favourite toy (“why like that? what about this?”), you switch off the fun. They might drift away from it. (Which is fine if it’s a noisy toy. Less fine if it’s soccer.)
The environment is almost the same as for your Lego kids. You’re just bringing a different focus:
Can you feed them the play?
Can you give them challenges and guidance?
Can you keep it fun, and embrace the chaos they thrive in?
Can they show they’re choosing the game? Captain roles. Leading warm-ups. Owning parts of team activities.
Protect the other sports too
We want both groups to keep loving their other sports.
Watch the adults. A kid shows a glimmer of interest in soccer and suddenly it’s private training and every camp under the sun all summer. This is their sport. Let’s go all in.
Keep the player’s experience as your reference point. Development is a squiggly line, not a straight one. Sometimes the hardest conversation you’ll have is:
“I think he needs a week off.”
“Maybe skip that camp this summer. He looked burned out when he came back.”
Don’t make it a label
Try not to label players and make them wear it. “Collateral” isn’t a verdict on them as a player or a person. It’s where they are right now. Your job is to understand that, and challenge them relative to who they are.
In my house, the Lego and magnet tiles are never wasted. They’re always part of what my kids are doing.
Multi-sport kids are the same. They bring creativity, different thinking, different ideas.
I once coached a U8/U9 player in 7v7 whose first sport was baseball. He was a shortstop. Instead of criticising him for practising his batting swing with a pinnie, I leaned into it. Turned out he was brilliant at reading the other team’s build-out, the way a shortstop reads a batter. He ended up teaching the other players how to read the game. I stumbled into it, but it was a really cool moment.
This week
Go down your roster.
Which players are horses?
Which are Lego?
What might you do differently this week to engage and challenge each of them?
Your job isn’t to turn every player into a horse kid.
Make the sport worth choosing.
🎧 Listen to the full episode: https://pod.fo/e/75bf95
@LeeDunneSoccer