Winning
Let me ask you something. Go and look at your club's social media right now. Not the mission statement on the about page — the actual posts. What do you see?
My guess: tournament wins. Trophies. State cup. League titles. Maybe some action shots, but probably fewer than you'd think.
Now read the captions. Is the story about players developing? Or is it about results, rankings, which college a senior just committed to?
I'm not saying that to make you feel bad. I'm saying it because the messaging your club puts out determines the culture your families build their expectations around. And if the message is trophies, the culture is trophies. Even if you stand in front of parents on the first night of the season and tell them it's about development.
So here's where I land: it is all about winning. We just need to be honest about what winning means — and most of us aren't there yet.
The Prestige Tournament Problem
Here's a contradiction I see all the time. A club books their team into a high-profile national tournament. Players are excited. Families book flights. The entry fee is substantial. The bracket is competitive. And then the coach stands up and says: we're going there for the experience. It's about development. Results aren't the priority.
And the families look around at each other, because they just spent two thousand dollars to go and watch their kid lose with grace.
I'm not saying don't go to good tournaments. I'm saying be honest about the environment you're putting your players in and what it's optimized for. You can't take players to a prestige event, put the bracket results on the website if you win, and then tell them the score doesn't matter. They're not stupid. They can feel the contradiction.
The environment you create tells the story. If every environment you put your players in is organized around results, then results are the measure. And then when those results aren't there, everyone — coaches, parents, players — defaults to what they can control, which is usually the wrong things.
The Position Problem
Here's a specific way winning is being lost every single week, and almost nobody talks about it.
I was at an ODP event in Phoenix. Best players from Northern California — genuinely talented kids. I sat with them in a team meeting and started asking questions. What formation do you play? What position? Could you play a false nine? What if we shifted the whole team to one side? What if we went to three at the back?
Seven of my forwards could not do anything other than play forward. None of them could play wide defender. None of them could operate as a false nine. They could get the ball and go toward goal. Full stop.
And this isn't a criticism of those players. It's a description of what they'd been taught — or rather, what they'd never been taught. US Soccer's love affair with the 4-3-3 means that in most clubs, the left winger plays left wing, the right winger plays right wing, and the center mid plays center mid. Season after season. And then they come to ODP and I ask them to solve a problem they've never been given before, and they freeze.
Go and watch a youth soccer game on the weekend. Watch the front three in a 4-3-3. The wide players are standing on the line, isolated against a fullback, waiting for a through ball that's going to arrive maybe four times in the whole game. When the ball comes, they beat the player or they don't. When it doesn't come, they stand there. And when the coach needs them to shift centrally, or combine with a striker, or support a midfielder under pressure — they don't know how.
That's not winning. That's waiting. And we've built it into the system ourselves.
What Winning in Training Looks Like
The fix isn't complicated, but it requires letting go of the rigidity.
Run a small-sided game and change the shape partway through. Play a six-a-side where one team is 3-3 and the other is 4-2. Move players to positions they've never played. Challenge your left winger to play a false nine. Challenge your center back to step into midfield when you have the ball. Make it a game — combinations between the two strikers are worth double points. Now you've built a specific task into the environment that rewards exactly the behavior you're trying to develop.
And then here's the key step that most coaches skip: take that goal into the game at the weekend.
Don't just coach the training and then show up on Saturday hoping it transfers. Tell the players before kickoff: this is what we're looking for today. How many times do those two forwards combine? How many times does the wide player cut inside and connect with the eight? Have a parent or assistant tracking it. Celebrate it at half time, whether you're winning or losing on the scoreboard.
Now you've created a second scoreboard — one that's entirely within your control, that reflects the work you've done in training, and that your players can win regardless of the result.
Then tell your parents about it. This is what we've been working on. This is what to look for today. Not because you're managing expectations, but because you're bringing them into the right conversation about what success looks like for this group right now.
IDPs and the Individual Win
I ran 18 individual development plan meetings at that same ODP event. Eighteen players. All eighteen told me they want to be a professional.
Which is great. And I believe in letting players dream that big. But then I asked them: do you understand what it actually takes? And the answers varied enormously. Some of them had a clear picture of the work involved. Others thought it was mostly about talent and hard work. And almost none of them had thought seriously about the element of luck — that at the right moment, the right scout needs to be watching, and you need to produce a moment of brilliance that makes them stop.
This isn't defeatism. It's honesty. And honest conversations unlock something in players that reassurance doesn't.
So we work backwards. If the long-term goal is professional, what does the next month look like? Last month you worked on receiving the ball under pressure and connecting with the player underneath. This month I want you to play the ball with the outside of your foot as you cut inside. That's the next piece. That's the next win.
That's how an IDP actually works — not as a form you fill out once and never look at again, but as a living document that tells every player, including the one who isn't getting much playing time right now, what they're working toward and why.
The Club That Keeps Players
I saw something on social media recently that's stuck with me. It said: putting on the same uniform doesn't make you a family.
It's a bit harsh, but it's also true. Players leave. Parents leave. Families shop around. Your A team's best player goes to the bigger club down the road, and you act surprised, but you probably saw it coming. That's the reality of youth sports.
The clubs that hold onto players — and more importantly, hold onto the players' commitment even when they're there — are the ones that make every player feel like they're winning in some way. Not just the starters. Not just the ones who are already good. Everyone.
When your best player sees the kid who used to struggle now thriving in a new position they've worked on together — that's culture. When the player who's been told their whole life they're a number ten discovers at fifteen that they're actually a brilliant number three — that's development. And it's also winning, in the way that actually matters over the long arc of a player's relationship with the game.
One percent of people listening to this are coaching at a level where winning on the day is genuinely the measure. For the other 99%, we are in the business of building players who will love this game long after they've left our teams.
That's the win. It's worth tracking.
Listen to the full episode: Ep. 67 — It's All About Winning
@LeeDunneSoccer